Dali — The madman we all wish we were

By -Rocco Bambace

Did you know that Salvador Dali was a crazy bastard? George Orwell noticed and wrote about it in his essay ‘Benefit of Clergy: Some Notes on Salvador Dali’. Oh yeah; if Dali’s own accounts have any truth to them, he was batfuck mad. Here’s a passage from his autobiography:

“Suddenly one of my father’s office clerks appeared in the drawing-room doorway and announced that [Halley’s] comet could be seen from the terrace… While crossing the hall I caught sight of my little three-year-old sister crawling unobtrusively through a doorway. I stopped, hesitated a second, then gave her a terrible kick in the head as though it had been a ball, and continued running, carried away with a ‘delirious joy’ induced by this savage act. But my father, who was behind me, caught me and led me down in to his office, where I remained as a punishment till dinner-time.”

One of many instances of unexplained, unexplainable violence. According to his autobiography, he once threw a little boy off a suspension bridge after a stroke of genius came to him “suddenly, as most of my ideas occur.” He also apparently bit the dying, ant-infested body of a bat right in half and chewed the squirming thing. He was about five years old.

What do we learn? If their contribution to humanity is significant enough, maniacal bastards will be forgiven regardless of their behavior. That’s fair enough. Dali could also be trolling, which would be equally fair. Here’s a very pretty picture:

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